I am currently reading the book, Crucial Conversations. Reading it and interacting with various members of my family as well as coworkers on the job remind me of the importance of being skilled at dialogue. Now many of you might think, "How hard is it to talk to people?" However, that's just the point. Many of us are not talking to people. We are talking at people or in same cases not talking to avoid conflict. As you can imagine, this causes all kinds of miscommunication, bad feelings, and all around ineffectiveness.I was intrigued to read Crucial Conversations because I observed conversations that needed to take place in my workplace were not taking place. I also observed the same thing at home. So often when it comes to conversations, we think it's the other person who needs to ante up. We ignore the impact that we can have if we are skilled in how to truly have a dialogue with the other person. This is what crucial conversations are all about.
Already as a result of reading the book, I am listening more and being observant of how I react when conversations are heading down a crucial path. I am also learning that when it comes to these conversations, many times I will have to initiate them. In management, we often say, "I am here and ready to listen.....why don't they just come to me and let me know what they need?" Well, I've learned that that statement is just not reality. Even when a manager is proactive and goes to the troops, effective dialogue still may not happen if they don't feel totally safe. Silence or the courtesy "tell them what they want to hear" is often conveyed and so the crucial conversations do not take place. Life goes on as usual and issues go on unresolved.
